greetings and ratings

Ni hao - simple and functional. Most of the people who have talked to me like they actually wanted to talk to me in China start out with this. 10

Ni hao (super slow foreigner version) - When you are explaining something difficult to me or even asking whether I'm married, talking slowly is appreciated. But, uh, if you see a lao wei walking around in China chances are he knows this one. Rating:3

lao wei - sometimes people just say foreigner to you like it's a greeting. I don't know what they expect. I usually just say, "Zhong Guo ren," and keep walking. Rating: 2


HAAAALLOO lao wei (runs off giggling) - Jesus Christ, man. What are you a twelve year old boy and I your secret crush? Rating: 1

hello (said as walking, without eye contact and not in any gretting sense) - Getting better, but still pretty lousy. The feeling conveyed here is one of pavlovian english spitting. It's a foriegner, quick, yell some English at it.
Rating: 5

hello (said like an actual gretting) - I prefer being talked to in Chinese, even though I'm not actually good at it. I must admit, my gut clenches up a bit with even a friendly sounding hello. Frequently I feel like a character in a textbook dialogue or a large, fleshy ATM. But sometimes it's just decent folk curious about foreigners and their bizarre ways. That can be pretty fun. Rating: 8