where "elevator music" is just "music"

Trance music sucks in China in exactly the same way it sucks in America. Trance music is the dark, sucking core of the universe around which all things are sucked.

There is small hope for China, musically. You hear trance everytime you walk by a store and I've seen more pictures of Kenny G than of Mao (oy, imagine the cultural revolution that puts his face in front of the square). I hadn't even known there was such thing as an Irish boy band before I moved here, but now I find their countenence more comforting than the ubiquitous face of the fucker who owns California Beef Noodle USA.

The western music that is loved here makes me cringe. I've heard Hotel California more times than I can count. Elton John could declare himself emperor of China if he so wished and I don't think the party would dare oppose him. I've even heard Nickelback in two different places, goddamnit. As a westerner I am expected to know the words to Fernando and Country Roads. I had never even heard Fernando until I came here.

Then there's actual Chinese music. I'm going to come out as a philistine and admit that I would rather undergo Chinese oral surgery than undergo Chinese Opera. Pop music is better by a difference that makes no difference. Cantonese and Taiwanese pop sounds like The Neptunes at best and at it's worst sounds like what it would be like to die of cloying sentimentality.

This is why yesterday I was surprised by something. Yesterday, when we were shopping for pirated movies (oh, shut it) I found the western section. Yes, the gang of four was there (The G, John Tesh, Elton John and The Eagles) but on the bottom rack there was something else. There was The Clash. There was Mum and Lamb. There was an assload of Pixies cds. There was Leonard Cohen. I was dumbfounded and delighted. The selection was not very good, but Christ it was a sight better than I ever expected to see.