Note to Openers

You may have some questions about tonight's close. I think that I can anticipate these questions and I shall do so in a Q&A format.

Q: Is this worst close ever or what?
A: By any measure we know of, yes.

Q: You guys didn't do any prep for us.
A: That isn't a question. But we ran out of most of the stuff to make the other stuff with.

Q: Where's the money at?
A: In the drop boxes where we normally temporarily store twenty dollar bills.

Q: Why the devil is it in there?
A: We would have liked to put it in the safe but were unable to.

Q: Why can't I work the safe?
A: Because it shorted out and caught on fire.

Q: Did all the money burn inside?
A: We don't know. We were unable to open the safe after it caught on fire. We flipped off the circuit breaker after it was evident that it was an electrical fire.

Q: Did you call the help desk?
A: Yes. I told them the safe was on fire. I added that it wasn't working because that seemed like a side issue at the time. The technician seemed rather flummoxed on that point. He asked if anyone had tampered with it. I admitted that I do not spend all my time with the safe. The conversation deteriorated from there.

Q: Electrical Fires smell really bad. Did the customers notice?
A: Sort of. We were saying things like "Oh my God the safe is on fire!" They were saying things like "is my frappucino done yet?"

Q: If I have any other questions can I call you?
A: No.

Q: Why not?
A: After I go home and complain on my blog I'm going to heat up that bottle of sake I've been saving since my birthday. Then I'm going to drink it. Tomorrow I'll be hungover. Hungover and barbecuing lamb with friends. Do not bug me. I will be very happy. You will not. Do not bug me.